16 Aug The experience that changed my life forever… (Part 2 of 2)
Following “The experience that change my life forever (Part 1)”… I see often the difficulty for people around me, sometimes people I really love and care for like members of my family or close friends, to be able to explore the spirit world, the way medicinal plants works inside us, and why & how spirits are the greatest teachers & doctors we can have access to. What compelled me to share this message is when I see on one side the suffering and the resistance of those same people who would be liberated & healed by opening their minds & their hearts to new possibilities, to a more universal and un-temporal belief…
So today I wanted to share with you, in it’s pure raw form, my experience of plant medicine.
A little about that first. Medicine man, what we call shaman, the doctors of most traditional & most ancient civilizations on this planet, have use plants to treat & heal their patient of many ailments from physical diseases as bad as cancer, to mental sicknesses (depression, traumas, and even some form of Autism or Alzheimer). This medicine knowledge is the most ancient and therefor evolves on the planet. It has gone through sometimes 10,000+ years of trials and changes to get where it is today. Just by thinking of this we can easily accept that to be that wide spread (from the northern Russia Siberian Shaman to south American Native tribes, going through Ancient Chinese Medicine and American Native Indian medicine), and to have survived and evolve since the beginning of man kind, it must work quite well.
In fact until the birth of modern pharmacology, medicinal plants & herbs were still the only & main highly potent medicaments used by doctors. I am definitely not saying that modern medicine did not bring extraordinary advancement in treating some diseases (from the discovery of vaccination, to the birth of antibiotics or anti-cancer). Yet I also know as I studied medicine and pharmacology, that most of those remedies are only the fruits of Earth creation (the great majority of those molecules comes from plants, herbs, mushrooms, or insects/animals).
“In the Amazon and other places where visionary plants are understood and used, you are conveyed into worlds that are appallingly different from ordinary reality. Their vividness cannot be stressed enough. They are more real than real, and that’s something that you sense intuitively. They establish an ontological priority. They are more real than real, and once you get that under your belt and let it rattle around in your mind, then the compass of your life begins to spin and you realize that you are not looking in on the Other; the Other is looking in on you. This is a tremendous challenge to the intellectual structures that have carried us so far during the last thousand years. We can do tricks with atoms, there’s no question about that, but these tricks immolate us. The higher-order structure of molecules, let alone organelles and that kind of thing, is intellectual incognita to us. We have no notion of how these things work or what is going on. Yet it is from those levels that the constituent modalities of reality are being laid down.” – Terence McKenna
I heard about Jungle plant medicine in 2008 for the first time. And went to experience it then also for the first time. I met shaman and drink a preparation made of a few plants, one of them being the Ayahuasca plant, often called “The Mother Plant”, “The Vine of Death”, “The Great Teacher”.
I was intrigued by the testimony of many of my close friends who tried it and experienced profound & positive life transformation. Some got rid of depression they lived with for over 20+ years, some healed past traumas like PTSD or the loss of a close relative, some healed rare disease that modern medicine has little to no solution for. What I heard and saw was definitely a very different way to approach healing, with a much broader and integrated understanding of the patient, it’s life, it’s family, it’s history, it’s feeling, it’s truth… It was not just about taking a drink with medicinal plant, it was about doing it in a sacred setting, with a long preparation (a month of very special diet before and after the ceremonies), and about allowing the “plant spirit” to talk to us.
I know the first time we hear “plant spirit” can seems a little “crazy” as it was for me at the time… Yet I have come to an understanding today where this is completely normal.
“You are an explorer, and you represent our species, and the greatest good you can do is to bring back a new idea, because our world is endangered by the absence of good ideas. Our world is in crisis because of the absence of consciousness.” – Terence McKenna
I often have discussions when I meet friends or people I do not know about all this. And I am often asked why & how I can believe in the existence of that “spirit world”? How can I believe in the fact we can talk to plants spirit, to animal spirit, etc?
It is for sure a hard stretch for those with little or no spiritual experiences or frame of reference. I describe it often as the re-discovery of a sense. A sense we “never” used so it has become invisible to us. As a good example, imagine you have never seen in your life, and that you live surrounded by people like you who can’t see. Then someone comes and tells you all about “seeing”. He tells you about millions of colors, shapes, textures, etc. It would seem probably crazy at first that the world they describe exist in such details for them and to be so true & real yet totally invisible to you. Well spirituality, and having a relationship of some kind with the spirits, unless we explore it with open heart & mind, could seem like a crazy world where BELIEF is needed. Yet I have learn those many past years that just exploring with open mind & heart can be one of the entry door into a new dimension which is the reality for a great majority of people living on this planet today.
“I hope to inspire you to recognize that your reason for existence is to pursue the things that excite you the most. The best thing you can do–for yourself and everyone else–is to act on the things you’re most passionate about. When you do, you’ll shine, and everyone else will see that brilliance. On a biological level, the mirror neutrons of the people around you will activate. They will recognize that they can also follow their dreams and accomplish things they have always wanted to accomplish. On a spiritual level, their souls will remember their reason for being.” ― Michael Sanders
So let’s come back to my shaman, and the shamanic healing ceremonies. Yes I was definitely hooked by the answers it could provide to one’s big life questions. I was amazed by the healing testimonies. I was excited by the new dimension it opened into my world. What was this all about. I had to know. I had to explore it.
Let’s be honest, accepting that plant have a “spirit” was still a long stretch for me at the time… Anyhow my point was LET’S BE OPEN to the possibility that I do not know everything. That science has not discovered everything. That there is a useful knowledge here for all of us on this planet, especially the western Man often living with fears, anxiety, depression and other related diseases. If that works on healing all this there must be some big Truth there…
I was a “starting” tech entrepreneur at the time (soon to launch my company Totsy.com) and a recent article who shown that depression touch close to 50% of the entrepreneurs (Articles about the dark Side of Entrepreneurship, frequent depressions and suicides) made me think I had to speak up and talk about this medicine, and the belief systems around it.
“I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it—I will love you through that, as well. If you don’t need the medication, I will love you, too. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”― Elizabeth Gilbert
So in those ceremony, which goes for 5 to 10 hours sometimes, you sit in circle, with the shaman doctor. You take the medicine. And then the healing & teaching start. Each ceremony is very different. Some are more centered on learning. Some more on direct healing. But it’s all about healing anyway, as learning about yourself, your past, your life, in the context of the ceremony, with the wisdom of the plants, everything will be shown to you in a profoundly life shifting way.
I saw & learn so much in those past 5 years through this that it’s impossible to recall everything here. What I can share as a silver lining, is the profound gratitude and strength I gained. Profound healing & grounding. Profound gift of knowledge, peace and clarity in all aspect of my life. Life became more of a flow, anxiety was flushed away, depth of understanding about myself were shown. Nothing is just really “given” by the plant spirit, we have to walk our path too, do the work during ceremonies and the “home work” the plant spirit gives us. But if we surrender and accept the gift, it’s just blessings, healing, learning, growth, clarity and love.
So I wanted to share one of my last most powerful one. Which happened in July. In it’s RAW form. Just a transcript of my notes from the day after. As not only I feel they hold no “human” intervention in trying to interpret / analysis, but it hold no filter of any kind. Raw experiences descriptions might seems very “esoteric” or “coded / hard to understand” but I believe hold more healing power than the one where we use our brain filter to understand and read. So here it is, raw, unfiltered, naked, vulnerable, as a gift to myself and to you all. Read this with your heart…
I can’t even describe it. I went through the most profound spiritual experience & understanding of my whole life. For 6-7 hours. Non stop. I saw my healer power awakening in me and how to use it. I was guiding all night into my rebirth. Saw my real initial birth minute by minute, back in Oct 7, 1973. I saw the C-section, saw inside my mother womb, saw me being taken out, felt my first breath, saw my mother from my crib right after birth. Extremely powerful. I saw God entering me in the wound. So how complete and perfect I was born, as all baby. Saw why I forgot all those moments and why I remembered them. Went through the full rebirth for one hour. An explosion of life and divinity. This is my new birthday today. My rebirth. My birth. I am shown the date are the same. July 10 (7/10) as my birthday Oct 7 (10/7). At the same time it happened (I was born around 11PM, its when it happened this past night. It was also the 7th ceremony (7th on 7/10). I saw all this happening in different space time at the same time, the thread between the dates. Time is an illusion, God and the plant shown me and brought me there so I could understand and see this. I had a powerful embodiment into the Christ. And saw his birth date, his death date being also on the same thread. The Birth of the universe was also the same date. I could see in front of my eyes the link between all those dates, being the same in those different reality. Saw his last and first holy breath. Went into his body on the cross. Him Carried his cross was me being blind for so many years. Same story. I had to carry my cross to be liberated. Had to give my breath and to be reborn. As he did when he died. I saw the pain and yet the need for the leap of faith to let go of the most precious thing he was/is. The give away of life, of the holy breath, to be reborn and see God. I relived very vividly my first breath when taken out of my mother womb. I saw in details how I could heal people. Why I have been obsessed by seeing Dragon. I morphed into a dragon and saw the power inside him and in his arms & claws… Saw that energy of healing fueling my arms and hands… The Christ was descending into my arms and hands too… I also morphed into a knight Templar. I was one in a previous life. Protecting the Christ heart / love inside me. I could feel my armor, see the shield, etc… Templar knight have been coming very strongly to me in my dreams and all over signs in my life those past 4-6 months. As the dragon. I saw why & how last night. All my past lives. All the why… I saw not only how to heal people with all the spirits and angels going down my arm, they were so excited and happy I finally remembered all this. Ready to help. They told me now I can’t lose time to do all this, to spread his message, as I was him as he was me. As he is in all of us as we all are him. I can help and walk people to heal by bringing them home. What I can’t do for them is walking their cross. It’s their free will, its what they have to do “alone” its what’s they have to remember. Yet they will be always carried by God, as they are It. They have to take the leap of faith to go down there, leaving everything to be reborn, only by following the rope of faith in their darkest night. As he did. As we all did. I saw every single sick person in the world mentally or physically and the healed person next to them in a parallel universe. At the same time, time being an illusion. How they could heal, they just had to be shown the way home, shown the truth, but their other “I” is waiting on the other side. My heart became huge, I could see how I kept it so small and so hurt all my life since birth when being separated from my mother. I saw how big it is, how much love in it, how divine it is. The heart of the heart. The heart of the Buddha. The Love. The divine love that can heal everyone and hold everyone. It’s so large. It’s infinite. I saw the duality of life, the finite and the infinite hold in our body at the same time. The duality and non duality. I was shown how it co-exist inside us. How our whole life, body, breath is the embodiment of that Truth. God show me so I could understand, I could remember, and I could use this to heal others. Once we see all this we can find the way home, the way inside our heart to the divine, the way inside us to heal. I am shaken, fill electric, profoundly changed, yet me again, the real me, the first time. I saw the inter connection of all life, of all past lives, and all event in my life. I saw why my home upstate is there as a home base for healing. Now I know why since i am little I always wanted to go into church, why I felt so close to monks, I saw my shield, my Templar shield, the ultimate invincible protection of my power and heart, universal power we all have to heal others, that we can rediscover, remember… All the knowledge is inside us inside our heart. We have nothing to learn. We just have to remember. And for that be ready to go down the rabbit all, to fall to the deepest, to lose all including life as we think we know it, to find the jewel, to remember all. When those truth were coming I saw Rumi’s verses, holy Bible verse, holy Koran verse, holy Indian scripture floating all around me, little pieces flying and being in me. I saw those going down into me, my heart, arm, hands. It’s all part of the healing power. For me. For others. Now I recall I did a Rune reading with a shaman 2-3 weeks ago and he knew nothing of me going to ceremonies. He told me I was going to have a huge struggle but that with the energy of the plants and the Earth tremendous clarity will come and I will be opening to the path of of the Dragon… I am in a stage beyond words. What I described here is a little part of the last 12 hours. There are no words for how it felt, what I was shown, what is lying there inside us. I feel so blessed, so grateful, to have seen, to have remember, humbled to the ground.
This was a month ago. Since then more signs, more clarity, more gift have been coming in since back in the US. But also more Work, new Work to do on myself. More healing. More shadows revealed. Another layer to explore. The frontier between visible & invisible are more blurred, between possible and impossible. I got more confirmation of those insights, and their explanations. It shows up in my personal life, my work life, my family life. Healing is a life process which is waiting for us to be open for it to happen.
When back on the “Earth” plane it’s where the real Work start again, where the real Work ultimately is. It’s often a hard one. But now I feel I do it with more knowledge, more understanding, more tools. I also see now more and more clearly how all this require surrender & Faith. With those two elements everything is possible… Everything.
“Drinking ayahuasca shows us the profound limitations of our deeply conditioned Western worldview. She shows us that what we normally take to be consciousness and therefore our knowledge of the world based on that egoistic, instrumental, problem-solving mode of consciousness is a fraction of what is potentially available” Jeremy Narby
Much Love & Light to you all,